The Lost Tale

Taken from one of Injunjoe's lost scrolls describing an epic battle fought deep within the Nerubian lair "Azjol-Nerub".

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One night, 5 dreary Bisdak members went to hunt spiders in the cave at AN
.. and Lo! Hordes of horde were waiting in ambush!!!

Sarevok broke the tooth off the orc shaman...
.. Sygbine bit the leg of the tauren cow warrior
...Murdak death-kissed their female elf paladin
....Ascorbate ripped the skull off the undead priest
...and Cephas stripped the Knight out of their troll Death Knight.

It was a long terrible fight. The cave echoed with the awful noises of painful screams and battlecries. All around people stopped and wonder if the titans themselves have descended and laid a terrible war against the dragons. Only to find out it was the terrible screams of these valiant heroes as they tipped their glasses on their pcs, ram their keyboards hard, kicked their desks and shook their fists at the latency rate.

In the end...after several thousands of milliseconds of that awful battle..silence came. And when the dust cleared.. a lone unflagged alliance gnome came out from the corner and shouted in testament to the scene of glory depicted before him: "FTW Alliance rules!"

And there 5 men...of the clan Bisdak valiantly stood...with their shining swords and golden armors bloodied and soaked with the blood of the enemy. And all around them lie the bodies of 8 hordes. The rest flew away, terrified..never again will they try their will against our young heroes.

At last...one of the 5 spoke.

"Naa na tanan? Tara na. Sayang oras." "Ok, let's go!" "Unsa to sila?" "Ambot nag tira man so tira lang pud ko.." "ah...looya oi." "Bitaw... " "pa bap pls.... "

And our heroes walked into the lair of the spider.

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As depicted in a painting by an anonymous artist:

Bubble-Hearth Denied!

It was a bright and sunny afternoon. We just finished defending Wintergrasp from the evil horde and there I was, browsing the goods sold by Knight Dameron, minding my own business when out of nowhere a Blood Elf Paladin started firing judgements on me. Angered by this sneak attack, I quickly put my Seal up and started firing judgements myself. With one quick cast he stunned me as he tried to get around me. Panic struck me since getting hit at the back is not something you would want to experience...ever. Using all my might I freed myself from his stun and quickly turned to face him raising my shield altogether. He struck, I blocked, and he got hit by the reactive spell that I had already placed on my shield. My arm ached from the strength of his blow while he staggered back arms and head bloodied. I took advantage of this lapse by lurching forward and hammering him with a stun. I then consecrated the ground below him, fired a powerful judgement and finished with a powerful slam using my shield. His life waned, slowly eaten away by my judgements. He then cast a bubble to protect himself from more attacks then started to use his hearthstone to teleport away to safety. Unfortunately for him I am a Paladin myself and I know the weakness of such a technique... In the end, he lay there bloodied and lifeless.

EDIT: Since patch 3.1, players are now immune to this spell's damage making this trick no longer work. I have mixed emotions about this change though, happy that it is now safe to use bubble-hearth when I encounter hordes of horde (not that I use this everytime) and sad that I can no longer deny Paladin Hordes their bubble-hearth...

AV (not what you're thinking :P)

Recently, I started joining battlegrounds as a way to get rid of boredom ( dailies have become quite boring... I needed the gold though :| ). One of my favorites ( due to the fact that Alliance are always winning :D ) is Alterac Valley (AV). I usually just rush Relief Hut (RH) and setup a defense from there. If lucky, only one or two Hordes will be there trying to defend the hut. Since right now I am wearing pve gear, I usually am the one who tries to hold Drek while the others just dps him down.

Hordes usually hate it when we rush RH. To avoid this, they usually do a turtle then just defend RH. When this happens, I bathe in Horde blood >:). I can usually take a couple of melee players (with LoH) without healers. However, spellcasters are quite a pain. I usually just turn them to a chicken then runaway (unless they turn me to a sheep first <.<).

The art of fleeing (paladin style)

There are battles which you know right from the start that you have no chance of winning but still you engage it just for fun or you have nothing else to do :P. I myself have engaged in such battles and have miraculously lived to boast about it. Do you want to know how I did it? Before I tell you though, I'll list down some memorable battles where such technique owns :P. Enjoy!

1. I was merrily flying over the Hellfire Peninsula searching for mining nodes when I noticed a level 69 rogue Horde player (undead) trying to capture The Stadium (for the pvp daily quest Hellfire Fortifications). Upon seeing that he is a level below me, I immediately maneuvered my gryphon to land near this Horde player. The rogue backed up a bit after seeing the powerful gryphon land in front of him. He then just stood there looking at me, unable to move, unable to flee. "RAWRRRR!", the gryphon rawred (lol), it became restless, I had a hard time unmounting from it. Then at that moment I smelled something fishy (was it coming from the undead rogue? :P)... I closed my eyes and concentrated on what the eye could not normally see. After a second my mind cleared, perception activated. There standing behind me was another Horde rogue (this time a bloodelf), level 70 and is under stealth. It was an ambush! They were waiting for me to strike first and get flagged :O. I then turned around and /slap the stealthed rogue. After he noticed that I saw him, he unstealthed and laughed. Three other Horde players then landed and I was surrounded. 2 mages, 2 rogues, and a druid vs a paladin. One of the mages challenged me to a duel. I laughed, I'm not falling for that one :P. He then performed a chicken dance (/chicken) to taunt me. "KEK", the rest of the Horde players laughed. I stood there helplessly watching the mage do the chicken dance... then... a smile spread across my face, I grinned an evil grin >:). "You want chicken?" I thought to myself, "Then take this!". I grabbed my Gnomish Poultryizer from my bag and aimed it at the dancing mage. "Pewpewpew!" I fired, he turned into a chicken, I laughed, laughed some more, laughed so hard that I didn't notice the other Horde players charging towards me. Want to know what happened next? Read on... :P

2. We were in Karazhan, trying to kill the final boss Nightbane. We wiped out so many times that we gave up trying (also since it's already way past bedtime for some of us, 3AM :P). Anyway, most of the raid members had already hearthed back to their respective inns and only three were left. A crazy, addict warlock named Mayotta (:P), a noisy, addict priest named Sealtiel :P and of course yours truly, a great paladin :P (though I forgot if another member was also there...). These crazy people then had some crazy idea of trying to kill Nightbane with only 3 people. Since I was always craving for great challenges, I agreed (crazy I say :D). The noisy priest then summoned the enormous flying beast. Little did I know that they were planning to run outside right from the start (lol), and little did they know that the doors leading outside will close once the great beast is summoned (double lol, no make that triple, lol :P). The sky darkened as Nightbane, king of the skies, flew overhead. The two crazy people then started running towards the exit leaving me behind. The beast landed and I ran... I sprinted as fast as I can towards the door. After the two crazy people realized that the doors were closed, they stopped and prayed lol. Nightbane flew past me and cleaved the crazy people to death (lol again). I laughed while saying "I see dead people!" lol. Did I survive the encounter? Read on...

3. We were in Gruul's lair, we just killed HKM and decided to have 1 attempt on Gruul just for the experience (after all we were only 18-strong). After we got wiped, we called it a day and some of the members ported back to their respective cities leaving behind the usual addicts, a crazed warrior named Zinghyi, a warfreak, addict rogue named Adik, the usual crazy fellows Mayotta and Sealtiel (see number 2 :P), the innocently addict druid Naerwen (innocent since she had no idea what's about to happen :P) and of course yours truly, the adventurous paladin (see 2 for another great description :P). As usual, we were planning to take on Gruul ourselves. While we were laying out our plans, an imp suddenly dashed towards Gruul (it was the crazy warlock's pet :D). I saw this and slowly backpedaled towards the door knowing that it's going to close once Gruul is disturbed. The imp fired, Gruul lurched forward instantly killing the poor imp. The door closed and luckily I made it outside, "whew" I sighed thinking it was over. It was when I saw an enormous hand reaching out from the door that I realized that we are done for. Gruul CAN get out of the door even when it is closed :O. 3000 hit points gone, 7000, my health was slowly thinning away. Gruul then struck the druid which was just standing by the door minding her own business :P. The warfreak rogue was on the other side of the door, luckily he stealthed just as Gruul was about to get him. Running for their dear lives, the crazy warlock, priest and warrior, raced towards the cave's exit, with Gruul right on their tail wildly bashing anything on his way. Sadly though, the poor crazy fellows didn't make it to the exit, Gruul had decimated their bodies :P. Meanwhile deep inside the lair, the lone rogue happily announced that he was alive and Gruul wasn't able to get him. This however was short-lived for when Gruul returned inside... need I say more? So why did Gruul not finish me off? or did he? Read on...


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Now here's what happened on each of the three encounters above:
1. When the Horde players started firing at me, Divine Shield fired up (I was immune from all forms of damage for 12 seconds :D) then I hearthed back to my inn :P. Yes I survived and was laughing so hard.

2. When Nightbane was about to strike me, Divine Shield fired up and I hearthed back to my inn leaving the crazy fellows behind, dead :P.

3. When my health was very low, Divine Shield fired up and I hearthed back to my inn making Gruul change target and hit the innocent druid instead :P.

So in all three deadly encounters, I survived :D. The technique I used is widely known as Bubble Hearth. Something that all paladins should learn... and enjoy to the fullest. :P

Warning: Do not do this at home, unless if you're a paladin of course.